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What To Do To Have Happiness


I am currently in love with someone who does not love me the same way, but I have to be around him and have him in my life. He has me around almost everyday, and is intimate, but I’m lonely and very lost at this tough time in my life. I don’t know what to do to have happiness.


Dear What To Do To Have Happiness,

At the cornerstone of what ails you is an underdeveloped ego whereby a healthy sense of self-value, self-worth, and self-love are MIA.

While this may sound harsh, subjecting yourself to repetitive torture is far worse. Self-love isn’t some esoteric catch phrase or catch all for that which ails you. It truly is THE answer. Once you understand that YOU ARE LOVE, you will stop looking for it outside of yourself.

As you love and value yourself more, you’ll form the building blocks you need to make better life choices. You’ll operate with the knowing that the love you find in another is in addition to, and not in place of. When it comes to love, two halves do not make a whole, two whole beings do.

You already know how continuing on this path day after day makes you feel. Have the courage, strength, and will power to break your own cycle of circumstance. Choose differently. Invest in YOU. Join a support group or prayer group. Join a gym, book club or other activities that interest you and get you motivated and moving in a whole new direction.

By diverting your energy and attention away from this man and your need to be loved by him in this manner, you will open the way to discover a whole new you. One where this internal dynamic and hold over you diminishes. Every step you take builds upon the other, creating a brilliant tapestry of self-love, self-value, self-worth, self-renewal.

Eventually, you won’t even recognize yourself, as you will have replaced your prior definition of love and what it means to love and be loved. You will have replaced the old you with one who cares for, trusts, and loves herself first, above all else. You will have discovered the love you have for yourself and how truly sacred a gift that is.

Now, a healthy ego-mind-personality is vital in this process. However, be sure to maintain a proper balance so you don’t swing the pendulum into negative territory that encompasses self-importance, entitlement, arrogance, etc. Within all human experience lies a sweet spot of harmony, bliss, and abundance.

In that space you will find your I AM presence. There, you are both loved and loving, confident yet humble, giving yet able to receive. There, YOU ARE LOVE and LOVE IS YOU. A beautiful place to be yourself.