Photo Credit: EvgeniiAnd/Shutterstock©️

Seem To Be Blocked

DearJames,

I would like to know what’s going on in my relationship. I really don’t understand. We seem to be blocked and there’s no communication and I can’t pick up his vibration.

We did discuss going our own separate ways; however, he acts like he still wants to stay with me. What is going on between us?

Anonymous

Dear Seem To Be Blocked,

A serious lack of communication and commitment is what ails you.

All talk and no action are just as bad as no talk and no action. To know the outcome, you must know where you stand. If both of you are not communicating your feelings, desires, and intentions openly and honestly with one another, then you shouldn’t be surprised by the current state of your relationship affairs.

Forward movement requires clarity and communication. It requires you to align your will and intention, with action. Anything less allows chaos and confusion to permeate, control, and multiply. You don’t need to “pick up his vibration.” You need to sit him down and have an honest and open discussion.

Discuss where your relationship stands. Is it salvageable and do each of you wish for the relationship to continue? If yes, discuss what needs to change to move forward in a healthier manner. If no, agree to make plans together for a proper separation so you part ways amicably.

Honest, forthright communication are the bedrock of any healthy relationship, even and especially when the issues are challenging and hard to address. Not addressing relationship issues assures you of your destination, Splitsville.

You either want to stay together or want to go your separate ways. You’re either willing to commit to what is necessary to repair and renew your relationship or you are not. Either choice is fine, however, a choice must be made and adhered to, to effectuate positive movement and change.

Fear is not an option, for fear of facing the issues is what landed you in this predicament to begin with; the unspoken, the uncommunicated. And, while it’s all too easy to get into the blame game, do yourself a favor by recognizing and owning the part you’ve played in reaching this point. Nothing good ever comes out of blaming others while negating one’s own actions.  What is yours is yours and what is his is his.

Should indecision linger, have the courage and self-respect to make a decision that is best for you. What matters most isn’t why you leave, but rather how you leave. Leave or stay on a positive note.

DearJames®