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Don't Know What To Do


I’m in quite a predicament and cannot turn to anyone else for advice. I must choose by this Saturday to either stay in Atlanta with my husband and three children, or move to Florida, with just my kids, fully knowing life will be better in Florida.

My husband is very controlling, and our marriage has been bad since we got married 3-years ago. But it’s my first marriage. Does this mean I’ve failed? I feel guilty leaving and I don’t know what to do.


Dear Don't Know What To Do,

There’s no such thing as failure, only opportunities to learn, experience, and evolve.

Soul growth and development depend upon learning from our life experiences and having the conscious awareness to choose accordingly in the future. Knowing what’s right comes down to listening to your heart, your soul.

Your ego-mind-personality will give you a thousand reasons as to what is “right or wrong” and why to “stay or go.” However, when you listen to your heart, your inner knowing, your gut, your soul speaks, shedding clarity and light on the best way forward…for you.

Your husband is the only one who can recognize, address, and change his controlling behavior and the root reason(s) that cause it, just as you are the only one who can choose what is ultimately best for you / in your best interests.

You can’t live life in a vacuum by denying the unspoken realities being together creates while simultaneously desiring a different life experience and outcome. Something must give – change in order to experience life differently. Nor should you feel guilty when change is what’s required to live your best life.

The key is to learn from your life choices and their resulting effects/experiences by willingly examining them. What role did you play? What was your intention. What is yours to own and accept, leaving to the other what is theirs. Dig deep within yourself, leaving no stone unturned to avail and empower yourself of THE truth.

Discern whether you can salvage your marriage or whether based on this honest life review it is simply past the point of no return. Regardless of what you choose, you are in need of sunshine and light, and that may be more abundant in the Sunshine state.

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Be willing to leave your old baggage behind (masks, identities, labels, insecurities, fears, etc.) and show up anew. Be brutally honest with yourself and others. Listen to your heart, your soul-source connection, and proceed accordingly.

There is light at the end of this tunnel, and guilt is a wasted emotion, so choose not to waste.