So Why Now

Inevitably, in divorce, children routinely become weapons, tools used to extract items or conditions from the opposing party, or worse, to inflict heartache, pain, and suffering upon them.

Regardless of what occurred between two consenting adults, children are and should always remain innocents throughout all proceedings.

Doing what’s best for your son may not be what’s best for you, however, that is the lens by which every decision must be made: What is best for him?

You and your ex-husband are the adults here, and you both need to do what’s in your son’s best interest, not “yours,” respectively.

When you look closely at the events of your marriage, you will see who you are really mad at, yourself.

You married this man when you knew you shouldn’t have.  You knew there were going to be three of you in this relationship before you ever walked down the aisle and said I do.

Then you chose to ignore your better judgment yet again by staying far too long in an effort to be vindicated instead of freeing yourself from your own choices, decisions / indecisions, hurt, pain, and suffering.

This was a challenge, one that you lost, and it had nothing to do with your value or worth except when for you made it so.

Deep down inside you, you knew he loved and desired this other woman and yet you chose to enter this dysfunctional relationship regardless.

Every moment was a test that continued to fail and fall short of the / your desired goal.

It takes great courage and strength to see, admit, and acknowledge one’s truth(s).

No one likes to admit the role they played in where they’ve ended up, especially when the other half plays the role of victim and villain so well.

However, in the long run, you do yourself a great disservice by not looking inward to discern all the moments you had the ability and opportunity to choose differently and chose not to.

His journey is his. The only person you have control over is yourself.

Make the commitment to yourself to no longer turn a blind eye to that which you know seeks to undermine your highest purpose and greatest potential.

Commit to seeing yourself fully so you release and overcome that which held you in place for far too long.

Commit to the journey ahead with a renewed sense of clarity, freedom, independence, and self-reliance.

The only true abandonment that took place here was you abandoning you. He simply played his role brilliantly so you could see yourself more clearly and come to own, with confidence, your innate self-value, self-worth, self-respect, and dignity.

Trust going forward that your son has the wisdom and integrity to choose wisely himself. How could he not as he has you as his Mother, Guide, & Mentor.