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Personal Relationship Problems


I’ve had personal relationship problems all my life. I just ended a 10-year relationship that was difficult and toxic. I’m not even sure I want a partner at this point but I get lonely for companionship. What is your advice?


Dear Personal Relationship Problems,

When in doubt, pause, reflect, and then hit the reset button.

Life long personal relationship issues are a reflection of deeper issues at play. And if you aren’t addressing the root issue(s) the cycle continues. Often, we look externally to fulfill and satisfy, remedy, and nourish what we are to discern and address within. There simply are no substitutes for this internal work, and our disappointment only intensifies when the patina of any new relationship wears off and we are once again left facing ourselves.

As the saying goes, “everywhere you go, there you are.”

Perhaps our human need to look outside of ourselves for answers, wholeness, and completeness lies in the fact that we feel separated from our divine nature, origin, spark, and selves. This perceived separation manifests itself in a myriad of ways, all to satisfy the desire to be whole, happy, and complete.

Once we realize this for the illusion that it is, we reveal the truth.  We are not and have never been separate from God, Source, the All that Is. Our faith reinforces it. Our pessimism challenges it. And our divinity guarantees it. Our intuitive knowing, aka our soul, is our connection to source. This relationship is THE relationship in our lives yet many fail to acknowledge it let alone nurture and cultivate it.

Loneliness stems from not actively engaging the limitlessness that is your soul-source connection.

Every life is replete with otherworldly assistance: guides, angels, teachers, master teachers, transitioned loved ones, and more, and yet people rarely acknowledge their presence and existence. They ignore and dismiss their existence and presence. They fail to willingly engage their wisdom, knowledge, guidance, company, and comfort.

Now is the time to awaken to their presence in your life, request their assistance, and listen to and follow their direction. In other words, date the Unseen. Ask them out. Engage them and continue to do so. Become comfortable in your vessel and accustomed to their presence, signs, guidance, direction, and company. Heed their cautions and warnings.

This alone will fulfill you, will change your life in epic ways. You will find you are lonely no more, enjoying your own company and that of others who resonate similarly. The more you engage with them, the more calm, centered, connected, inspired, and pure you become. You will have widened and deepened your roots, your understanding, and being. You will love yourself in a way that has heretofore eluded you.

You will be whole. What greater gift is there?