Let Down And Disrespected

Trust is the foundation upon which every relationship is founded. When that trust is broken it is incredibly challenging but not impossible to rebuild.

First and foremost, honest, and transparent discussions between you and your husband must take place. You need to get to the root reason(s) of why your husband uses drugs and why he concealed it from you.

Presuming he is honest and forthcoming, you will learn what lies at the heart of this issue for him and why he concealed it. If he is not, any hope for a brighter future with him will elude you.

To overcome it you must address it.

Certainly, you face a new reality based on circumstances previously unknown to you. Now, you must decide whether this betrayal of trust is a bridge too far or one you are willing to navigate. Hiding his drug use from you, only to tell you about it after your marriage, doesn’t make it your problem, and you are certainly not obligated to remain.

That said, should you choose to navigate this bridge, know that you are completely within your rights to determine the terms and conditions of what is acceptable for you moving forward. Use discernment not judgment. Patience not impatience. Release any attachment to the outcome as you discern for yourself whether this is something you can work through with him or whether he needs to do it on his own.

Decide what is acceptable for you and proceed accordingly.

Neither choice will be easy per se, however, one will be the right choice for you.

While making the above choices, ensure you have adequately addressed your Bipolar Manic-Depressive condition so that you afford yourself the utmost calm, clarity, and confidence in the choices you make.

No one lives in a vacuum, and there were certainly signs along the way you either ignored, missed, or chose not to see. Regardless, you’re both here at this present moment of truth now, and what is his to own is his, and what is yours to own is yours.

To remain together, each of you must make a genuine commitment to the raw, unfiltered truth of it all. Your relationship, his drug use and concealment, your Bipolar Manic-Depressive condition, and everything that may lie at the heart of each.

Forgiveness will also play a key role. Actions will speak louder than words. And, to coin President Reagan, you will want to “Trust but Verify.”

It won’t be without its ups and downs, however, should each of you commit to the above, you’ll have a fighting chance to make this a successful union. The difference will be that now it is built upon absolute honesty, renewed trust, accountability, and responsibility. Qualities that make for a loving and long-lasting relationship.