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Is It Real This Time


I met a nice guy a few months ago and have been dating him since. But, after my previous marriage failing and my last relationship proving to be a false true love, is this going to be the real deal or just a nice long dating commitment?


Dear Is It Real This Time,

Yes, Yes, and More Yesses. Yes, it is the real deal this time. Yes you heart each other. And yes, it will be a nice long dating commitment.

And why would you not want it to be that; “a nice long dating commitment?” To nourish a relationship, you must invest in it every moment of every day. You must choose it daily! From initial encounter to until death do us part, a nice long dating commitment is the sustenance that keeps everything glowing and growing.

Now, you may get off to a rocky start in the beginning and/or have some starts and stops along the way, however, once you’ve worked out the kinks, it’ll be smooth sailing for the better part of a lifetime. Each of you will want to address your individual fears and insecurities when it comes to love, life, and relationships.

Neither of you is here to save the other.  You are here to compliment and enhance each other. Leave the heavy lifting of what resides within each individual to that individual. Assist, yes. Save, no. We are all meant to address and overcome what is individually ours. Too often we look for in another what we are meant to be, achieve, and experience ourselves.

And remember, this is a marathon not a sprint. You don’t have to solve every problem, accomplish every goal, and become the person you dream of being in a nanosecond. Be patient and gentle with both yourself and each other. Take walks with one another, hold hands, live, love, and laugh together.  This will make the minor bumps in the road irrelevant as you maintain your focus on the beauty of the journey, and not its destination.

Eliminate all fear or pressure to have the perfect relationship.  There’s a strong sense that, due to your past relationship history that this relationship must be perfect, that you must be perfect, that he must be perfect, and that is not a winning perspective. Perfection in the imperfection is a winning motto for you.

Projecting onto anyone something rooted in lack, will surely bring about the exact opposite of what you’re hoping for. You end up with more lack as fear resides at the root of the intention. More than anything, rest assured you are absolutely, 1000 percent, worthy of both receiving and giving love. Just allow that love to be pure and unencumbered. Allow it to flow openly from the trust you find within yourself.

The rest will be adorned with magical moments and memories you create and share. Experiences that leave an indelible mark upon your soul; the ones you take with you from this lifetime into another and the greater beyond.