All My Life

Swift is the sword that grants you freedom.

A lifetime of taking care of others is noble, however, the one person you neglected to take care of was yourself.

By always giving, you forgot how to receive.

You built a fortress of need around you to ensure your purpose in life not understanding the devastating toll lack of reward and appreciation would play in your relationships and life.

At every turn you made a choice to remain cloaked in the costume of caregiver.  Its erosion upon your soul is palpable, even breathtaking in its scope and depth. 

Past life influences are also at play as your sister really was your daughter in former lifetimes, your children, wards of the state if-you-will, as you were the warden.

Each clinging to you for survival, need, and nourishment.

The men who have come and gone in your life are also representative of the lack you have experienced and continue to feel to this day.  Their purpose was well placed even if you have yet to discern it.

To break the cycle of caregiver, you must lay down your sword and realize that you are worthy of love, independent or sole and separate of that which you give.

You need not give in order to receive.  To be worthy, you need only be true to yourself.

By manufacturing a false need, you inadvertently created a crisis of thankless co-dependency which, left unabated, took on a monumental life of its own.  It became a tangled web you were incapable of extracting yourself from.

Now that you are awakened to the hand you played in creating your reality, play it yet again, to release yourself from the life of servitude that binds you.

Excuses are reasons to do nothing. Intentional action on the other hand is verifiable proof of your intent to achieve your stated intentions; happiness, love, marriage… your own life.

To achieve these things, you must first be these things.  You must be willing to break your own patterns of thought and behavior.  You must be willing to place yourself first.

Service Not Servitude.

There will of course be an adjustment period for all involved, however, that will be far less painful than continuing a lifetime of enabler – enabled.