At My Wits end

As the age-old adage goes, “you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.”

The spirit of a wild horse may never be tamed, but it will certainly mellow and mature as the years pass. Your daughter is holding onto something deeply rooted in her past, and thus is acting up and lashing out. It appears she holds you accountable and responsible for her life’s circumstance and misery, failing to realize that she is the master of her self-made choices, course, and circumstance.

Currently, her every act is directed at defying you, hurting you, causing you to feel the pain, anger, resentment, and unhappiness she carries. This is of course misguided as every individual is accountable and responsible for their life choices, experience, beliefs, and actions or inaction.

Regardless of the circumstances, you each must be willing to change to experience a different outcome.  Perhaps it’s time you stopped allowing her to hold you hostage. Allow her to fall so she will finally see that regardless of what occurred in the past, you have always been the one there for her, have done the best you could, and the arrogance of her entitlement will not be tolerated.

You are not the cause of all that ails her, she is.

This is a painful choice/option; however, nothing will ever change if one of you is not willing to break the cycle. It’s not that she’s a bad person, but rather that she is deeply wounded internally, and lacks the coping skills necessary to free herself from her own self-inflicted torment and cyclical behavior.

It may get worse before it gets better. However, if you continually assist someone who openly defies you, disrespects and/or demeans you, and does not appreciate the assistance you offer, it serves no purpose other than to cause ongoing pain, heartache, and disappointment.

It’s time for her to grow up and become the mature woman/daughter/mother she is capable of being. The ball is squarely in her court, not yours.  You’ve done your best, now it’s her turn. Be still. Be silent. Live your life allowing her to do the same as she sees fit.

Walk in faith and release any attachment you hold to the outcome, allowing higher powers to prevail and guide the way.

While it may be easier said than done, you will at a minimum, have taken the necessary steps to break the cycle, released any attachments to the outcome, restored inner peace and balance within yourself, and provided her with the opportunity to show up differently.

That choice is hers. Yours is to realize the only person you have control over is you.