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I Will Never Give Up
- ADOPTION/ADOPTED
- FAMILY/FRIENDS
- CHILD/CHILDREN
DearJames,
I was adopted at the age of two. I have searched very hard for over five years for my last biological sibling, and it would mean a lot to me to find her.
I have spent countless hours on the internet searching white pages, people, Facebook (oddly enough how I found all my other siblings), and I do not have the funds for a private investigator. All I have is her father’s name, approximate date of birth, and the county(s) she was permanently taken from by Child Protective Services.
I feel like if I found her, it would be the last remaining piece of the puzzle. I have pictures of her and our birth mother when she was very young. My question is, what resources are available that may help me find her? I feel like I have run out of options that don’t require a ridiculous amount of money that I do not have. I have cried over it and I have been angry over it. I just want closure. I am near hopeless, but I will never give up.
Anonymous
Dear I Will Never Give Up,
The idea of not being able to place the last remaining piece of a puzzle into place, so you achieve resolution, closure, and victory can be maddening. In your pursuit for completion and wholeness, you can inadvertently give away your power, diminishing your capacity to live and lead a healthy, balanced, whole and complete life. In this case, time really is on your side.
Perhaps by loosening the reins and allowing the breath and space of time to permeate your being, new opportunities to find her will present themselves. Holding onto anything too tightly creates unintended consequences. The least of which is mental and emotional fatigue and exhaustion. The looser the reins the more freely the Unseen can guide you.
Remember, on a soul level, each person/soul must be willing and ready to be found and reunited. Be consistent with your pursuit but not to the point where it becomes overwhelming, unbearable, or detrimental. To walk in faith and openness allows the spirit of that intention to permeate the cosmos. When the time is right, you will each find the other.
Do not despair or retreat. Simply allow the Universe, the Unseen to work on your behalf, in accordance with divine will, time and order. In all instances, the outcome must serve both hers and your highest and best interests. There is a reason you are currently blocked from finding her, and that needs to be honored and respected. All good things do come to those who wait.
Be patient with yourself and her while also enjoying and appreciating the beauty of the journey. The destination can be elusive and elongated, but the journey’s wisdom is ever-present.
Additional sources you may wish to investigate would include a thorough search of records located on, and the submitting of a DNA sample to Ancestry.com or similar genealogy services to see if any familial records or connections occur. You may also contact and make a submission to either the TLC Channels hit show Long Lost Family or Troy Dunn’s The Locator Foundation at www.thelocator.org.
Retracing your steps to see if there is anything new or anyone or anything you may have missed the first time may also bear fruit. Our mind and eyes can deceive us at times by missing a crucial fact or clue that was there all along. The Internet is an amazing tool and resource. Perhaps one of these resources along with the ones you’ve already been utilizing will bring the two of you together again, or perhaps for the very first time.
The key is to remain open and fluid. Allow the moment to unfold organically. Bend but do not break.