What To Do

First and foremost, you need to take care of YOU, PERIOD.  Only after you address your depression and loneliness, will you see clearly enough as to whether or not you truly “made a mistake.”

It may be that you gave yourself the greatest gift of all, freedom from that which no longer serves you, and only out of fear, self-imposed regret and second guessing, are you feeling isolated, lonely and depressed.

Recognizing that you are lonely/depressed is a huge first step in addressing and overcoming it.  Finding STRENGTH, PURPOSE, and VALUE within your SELF, sole and separate of any mate, is paramount to a better today, tomorrow, and life for YOU and anyone whom you may share your life with in the future.

If you feel you are not capable of overcoming your loneliness and depression on your own, seek professional assistance.  There are non-profits and subsidized assistance programs, support groups, etc. available to you at no or limited cost.

Past life issues are certainly at play here regarding your relationship.  It explains the instant attraction you had as high school sweethearts as well as the undertone of uncertainty and risk and that lingering feeling of doubt and all the trust issues that have played out over the interval of years you’ve known one another.

Loving someone doesn’t always mean that you are meant to be together.  On the contrary, when past life issues are at play, it may mean that you are merely brought together in order to experience and overcome unfinished issues from the past, so as to not repeat them again.

Focus on you and your internal happiness.  Find beauty in every moment of every day.  Give thanks that you and your mom have this time together.  By willfully choosing to be a better you, when you’re ready, the right person will enter your life and the thought of “praying that a good man will come along,” will be a very distant memory.