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So Confused

DearJames,

I am confused by this man who keeps coming in and out of my life. I hadn’t seen him for over six months, and he contacted me out of the blue. I was glad to hear from him, so we got together. The old feelings for him came back. I know he is also seeing someone else, and he isn’t honest with her about seeing me. I think if he isn’t honest with her, he probably is not being honest with me. My question is, why does he keep coming back to me? I really care for him, but I feel that if I were important to him, he would make more time for me. I want to make a decision but feel very stuck. What is your advice?

Free Spirit

Dear So Confused,

Do not be confused any longer, as this man is routinely showing you who he is, believe him, and then bid him adieu.

Like an all-you-can-eat buffet, he seeks to have a little of this and a little of that, etc. so he can fulfill his needs with little or no regard for the needs or feelings of others.

He came back because you allowed him to.  Return him to whence he came and thank him for his valuable lesson.

Loneliness can be a dangerous expression of self.  It can lead you to make decisions that are otherwise beneath your good judgment.  It can leave you vulnerable and exposed and not in a good and trusting way.

To be raw and vulnerable is to be empowered.  To be lonely, raw, and vulnerable, merely opens the door for predators, and this man is a predator seeking to extract his favors with no sense of conscious or remorse.

Him lying to you is one thing. You lying to yourself is far worse.  You do not need this man or any other for that matter. You only need yourself, your soul-source connected self.

Eradicate any feeling or sense of loneliness and need by first and foremost being honest with yourself. Engage yourself in positive thoughts, meditation, reflective contemplation, truth, and positive outlets of expression.  By seeking to fulfill your life moments with quality, you vanquish any time or room for unworthy distractions or loneliness.

Life is full of opportunity, and yours is no exception to the rule.

Be Vigilant. Be Inspired. Be Enthusiastic. BE BOLD.  Take the bull by the horns and get busy LIVING.

The more you LIVE the more fulfilled you become, both within yourself and the life of your creation.

And that will leave loneliness where it belongs, outside of any conscientious choice you would make or consider.

DearJames®

DearJames,

Thank you for your advice. I will let go of this man and not allow him to come back. I’ve known the truth about him but didn’t want to believe that he could really be so selfish. I’m going to take care of myself and never allow someone like him in my life again. Knowing him was a tough lesson. Thanks again DearJames. You’re awesome!

So Confused