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Loving A Fat Man
- HEALTH
- LOVE
- SELF-VALUE/WORTH/CONFIDENCE
DearJames,
The man that I’ve loved for nearly 6 years has gained over 100lb since we met. We haven’t had sex in over a year and that’s partly because of his weight gain – I’m disinterested because of his weight, and he has said that he doesn’t feel confident because of his weight. There’s much more but how do I bring up the conversation about his health, our relationship that’s suffering sexually, and what I can do to help change that? Should I give him an ultimatum? Either get healthy or lose me?
Loving A Fat Man
Dear Loving A Fat Man,
Ultimatums are never a good thing, for they rarely ever elicit the desired goal / result. Ultimately, when you give an ultimatum to another, you are really giving it to your-self. And therein lies where each of you should look.
What within this man, you have loved for nearly 6-years, has changed so dramatically in the past year, that he has gained 100+ pounds? Or have these deep-seated issues been there from the beginning?
What within you, allowed this to become your reality? Or was this self-made reality, ever present from the beginning, and you chose to look beyond both him and your-self?
The dance to any destination in a life relationship always takes two. And here, innate in both of you, are feelings of lack, complacency and general or acute levels of unworthiness.
In order to right your course, whatever the outcome, each of you must first be willing to earnestly look inside your-selves. Take stock of what you see, be willing to sit with it, feel it, own it. Then willfully take the necessary and deliberate steps to move beyond or through the root issues.
A healthy body requires a healthy mind, soul, and spirit. They are inextricably linked, with the physical you a direct manifestation of the inner you. Begin your own inner dialogue and journey to a healthier you and invite him to do the same.
Then and only then, will each of you, release that which makes you heavy.