I'm So Mad

Loss of a loved one tears at your heart. Loss due to suicide, your Soul.

It is the unfathomable, irreversible choice that one makes that devastates others to their core, crumbling foundations.

The never-ending question of why and all its unanswered replies, haunts you.

Its answer being forever elusive at best as the “Why,” never truly satisfies.

The when is much the same as there is never a “right” time to commit suicide in the eyes of those who remain.

In the heart, mind, and soul of every person left behind, he committed a selfish act.

An act that has left a void of deep devastation, hurt, anger, betrayal, and resentment.

While these feelings and emotions are normal, they are also your opportunity to heal, forgive, discern more, and transcend.

Through the pain and anger of being left behind and the feeling of helplessness in the decision your husband made, you are able to experience and bear witness to your own inner strength and resolve.

Through the betrayal, you are able to find a greater sense of knowing and trust within yourself.

Through the devastation, you are afforded the opportunity to rebuild anew.

Like the mighty Phoenix who rises from the ashes of his former self, so too shall you come to experience and embrace the beauty of your transformation.

While the days may be long and the nights longer, summon Spirit, Source, your Soul, and inner wisdom as they accompany you on this ardent journey of understanding and self-renewal.

Often in times of devastation and despair we forsake gifts given to us by another as the wounds are too fresh and the loss too deep and impenetrable.

It is only by the passing of time and sheer will that your new Self emerges, allowing past perceptions to soften and alter.

In time, you will come to contemplate whether his departure was a well-timed act of love wrapped in the cloak of opposites or one of selfish motives.

Your state of perception and understanding will always inform your answer.

And thus, that is why the expression “tomorrow is a new day” is so very true, wise, and beneficial.

Discover in you that which eluded him.

NOTE: Should you or someone you know be experiencing suicidal behavior, please Call or Text 988 or visit www.988lifeline.org (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – offering 24/7 Free & Confidential Support Services for people in distress; prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones; and best practices for professionals in the United States) and/or seek immediate medical / professional assistance.