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I'm Not Sure What To Do


I am 62 years old, and I have cancer. My husband has not touched me in a loving way for almost a year.  He stays angry with me and says things that cut right through me. I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’m not sure of anything anymore. I need help.


Dear I'm Not Sure What To Do,

In the most loving way possible, whether audibly spoken or written in silence, forgive both him and you.

Forgiveness is powerful medicine. It remedies and releases all we hold onto consciously and unconsciously. The energy of unprocessed emotions like anger, resentment, and fear, build, creating unfortunate and unnecessary dynamics. Blame is the culprit. Forgiveness, the cure. Communication, with self and others, the opportunity.

Illness and certainly cancer have a way of changing us. It brings to the forefront our deepest fears and mortality. To be able to discern, discuss, and address these issues with your husband, you must first have this same raw and vulnerable conversation with yourself. Reconcile your truth so you may equally accept his.

By addressing his anger and resentment from a place of empathy and understanding, it releases any hold and power it has over you. His anger and resentment are his; your empathy and compassion are yours.

Choose to take the higher road even in your greatest moments of despair. It is there where you will find the light. It is there where you will find your greatest empowerment. It is there where you will heal, recover, and move on. The journey less traveled is often filled with unexpected treasure. How will you know the gifts intended for you if you never embark upon the path?

With time and earnest conversation, your husband will either surrender and accept the current circumstances and alter his behavior, or you will conclude that he is better off left to his own offenses. Either way, you will have reached a turning point. A point of release that serves your highest and best state of being.

Be confident in your value, worth, and desirability. Be focused and resolute on healing your mental, emotional, and physical bodies. Give thanks for all your soul affords you, for you are the heroine, the triumphant victor of your life story. In this you are whole, healthy, and healed.