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I Need Some Insight
- ACCOUNTABILITY/RESPONSIBILITY
- SELF-VALUE/WORTH/CONFIDENCE
- FAMILY/FRIENDS
DearJames,
I am writing to you in regards to feeling completely lost and afraid my thoughts and feelings will be detrimental to my current relationship with a nice man. I was married for 25 years, and my ex pretty much rejected me in every way of our relationship, so I gave him what he wanted and divorced him.
During this time my son had been in and out of prison and jail due to crime and drugs and that took a toll on the whole family, leaving me childless in a sense where I cannot see or talk to my grandkids.
My daughter wants nothing to do with me and I am hurt. Being the rock of the family I feel like I failed my family. My son’s ex wife refuses to allow me to keep my relationship with my granddaughter since I moved to Texas after living in that hell in Minnesota.
I’m scared, feel alone, and was told lies to move here. My family here is very distant and uses me for their benefit and that is it.
I have been trying to find a good job, but nothing. I met a man who says he loves me, but I get scared and worry that he isn’t being for real and I am not sure what to think. I need some insight on what you see for my life, career, and healing in my family and myself?
Please help me.
Lola
Dear I Need Some Insight,
With so much out of balance here, you need to take a long, hard look at the truth. Not your truth or their truth, but THE truth. Somewhere in the middle lies THE truth, all its lessons, and every act, deed, intention, word, and deceit perpetrated by each individual.
Until you can see THE truth clearly, you will continue deceiving yourself regarding your choices, actions, roll, responsibility, and participation in all of this, and how it has led to your current situation, just like the other parties involved will.
By universal design, there are no victims, only dharma and karma. Everything is purposeful and serves a purpose. Only our perceptions, beliefs, and lack of conscious awareness inform us otherwise. To clear and realign this tsunami of karmic interaction, each of you must be willing to earnestly look at yourselves and commit to make real changes within.
Own. Atone. Release.
Acknowledge your faults, foibles, and offenses. Own them for they are yours. Atone for them through apology and acts of contrition. Release them, vowing never to repeat them again. This requires earnest, authentic effort and commitment on your part until it becomes second nature to you. To say you are sorry and mean it is empowering. You can only control you and your behavior. What others choose to accept, or reject is on them.
Breaking the cycle of your past opens the way for new life to enter. The life you dream of living. To reach it, you must choose and behave differently. Doing the same thing, expecting a different result, is the definition of insanity. No longer dependent upon others for validation, approval, and security, your self-value and self-worth become self-evident.
This state of wholeness and renewal empowers you to carry on regardless of other people’s choices, actions, and entanglements. Be the change you wish to see in others as the end result truly does speak for itself.