Photo Credit: 9comeback/Shutterstock©️
Free To Move
- DECISION/INDECISION
- SPOUSE/PARTNER/SIGNIFICANT OTHER
- LIFE DIRECTION/PURPOSE
DearJames,
My friend, whom I love dearly, appears to be in a very stuck pattern. We have dated for 8 months and have a true bond and friendship. He, however, is VERY uncertain about the future. His career is taking a nosedive. He’s still feeling the burn of a prior relationship. His parents are aging and he’s taking on a lot of responsibility.
He wanted to purchase a home but is still renting. He says he doesn’t know what he wants. Any feelings about where he’s going? Can he move on and heal? I of course wish to have a future with him; however, he has a lot of stuff to work through.
Do you see him becoming free to move?
London
Dear Free To Move,
The old idioms “timing is everything” and “the handwritings on the wall” and “it’s time to face the music” are all apropos for all that you describe. The best and most coveted thing you have with each another is your true bond and friendship. Those are both priceless and timeless.
Often, when one is at there worst, they unknowingly seek out comfort and solace. The unfortunate part of that equation however is that they are very much in denial. It’s not that they don’t desire intimacy, love, and romance, it’s simply they’re not in a place and space to commit to it.
The conundrum for you is, do I stay and wait it out or do I move forward and transition alone before the inevitable arises. The inevitable time and space required for him to sort through all that he is facing before adding additional commitment and responsibility to the mix.
The inevitable desire to free his soul so he may discover himself before committing to love another.
The inevitable chance that presents itself when one is faced with the opportunity of being what they always dreamed they could be, with the bonus of being paid for it. The inevitable gift of caring for those who loved and cared for you.
The inevitable.
No matter your decision, make it with an open heart, mind, and eyes. The truth of the matter is before you, and that is a powerful force. Harness it to reconcile the best outcome for you in this the present moment.
Allow time, patience, and unconditional love to serve as your guides, knowing that wherever they lead you, it is the journey and not the destination that matters most.
PS – Something tells me he, in this matter, is far better suited to be the friend than he is a committed lover. Maya Angelou said it best: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”