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Am I On The Right Path
- ADDICTION
- BREAKUP/SEPARATION/DIVORCE
- DECISION/INDECISION
DearJames,
I recently left my husband of 11-years. It has been a battle from the very beginning. It was an abusive relationship including alcohol and drugs. My question is am I making the right choice by leaving and planning on divorcing him? I’m struggling with my decision to do this. I also recently applied to go back to school. I want to do this and I have everything paid for, but I need a job. I’m struggling to make the decision to go to work or school and I need to get a place so I can move back to a different town where my kids will attend school. I’m afraid I’m making all the wrong choices, but since I have left, so many doors have opened up to me. I’m excited but also afraid that I need to stay with my husband, that he will truly change and be a good husband.
Anonymous
Dear Am I On The Right Path,
You are indeed on the right path; it’s why it feels so right and yet so uncomfortable.
Eleven plus years have been spent in torment, anguish, denial, hope, and pain.
A decade of hiding the truth just so you could feel the slightest bit normal…sane.
Addicts routinely make promises they never keep, it’s an aspect of their ailment and condition.
Their need for the next fix, score or drink is so strong, it eviscerates all rational thinking, judgment, responsibility, or accountability.
Substance Abusers and Addicts are illnesses in need of treatment.
By second-guessing your decision to remove yourself from this toxic environment by separating and ultimately divorcing, you leave the door wide open for yourself to continue as an enabler.
The only thing you want to enable is your forward momentum and recovery.
You and your children would be wise to seek counseling in order to truly cleanse your souls.
To unburden oneself is to wash away the residue of that which was left behind by delible impressions.
You never have to stop loving your husband and father of your children, you just have to love your self more and him enough to allow him to fall so that he hopefully may or will rise…if he so chooses.
Empower yourself by educating yourself.
Demonstrate to your children the depth and determination of your will, the levity and gaiety of your spirit, and the strength of your convictions.
Open yourself to the many doors and windows that will continue to open for you as you seek to move and align yourself with your highest purpose and ideals.
Be forgiving of yourself and others as forgiveness speeds the momentum of your recovery.
Be patient yet confident in all your dealings and decisions as life is not a sprint but a marathon.
Enjoy the journey as you come to discern and discover that the destination is fluid not fixed.
Above all else, believe with all your being that you are worthy and are doing the true and right thing.
Be steadfast not steely.
Ultimately, Peace comes to those who truly believe they are worthy of it, grant it to themselves and afford it to others.
Be worthy of Peace.