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Separation
- BREAKUP/SEPARATION/DIVORCE
- FAMILY/FRIENDS
- LIFE DIRECTION/PURPOSE
DearJames,
I have been married for 12 years. I have three grown children ages 18, 19, & 24: all at home. My husband is their stepfather. We married after seven months of dating. I have known his family since I was 15 years old, and I am now 42. We have been talking about splitting up for the past five years, on and off, while also trying to make it work. I have been unhappy for about 5yrs. I want to separate, but I have a couple of issues working against me. The first is that I lost my job of 14 years and I now make half of what I use to make, and I am part time. The second thing is that I do not know how to tell him. Every time we have this talk, we get into an argument. What do I do?
Struggler
Dear Separation,
Begin with the truth and keep speaking your truth every day of your life.
The road to hell is often paved with good intentions and unless you earnestly seek to remedy your destiny, your fate will be sealed.
Happiness is a gift you give your self…and it is PRICELESS. It may take much of you to achieve said happiness, however, you are worthy of every ounce of effort it demands.
This was a rebound arrangement not a marriage, and the rebound has been over for quite some time. You each entered this arrangement for selfish, insecure, reasons, and now those choices are coming home to roost.
Of course, there will be hurt feelings and pangs of resentment for lost time invested, however, once you each take responsibility for your prematurely made decisions, the burden of separating will lift.
Fooling others wasn’t exactly harmless either. Fooling yourselves was simply willful naïveté, and now it’s time to face the truth, lay down all the lies you told yourselves and others, and move to higher ground.
Your lack of employment is a natural byproduct of the state of contraction you have been living within. Better employment opportunities will present themselves once you align yourself with your greater truth and abundance.
Collectively, harness the power of your grown children, to reinforce the whole: meaning, all hands-on deck. Collectively work together to create the new reality you seek and if one or all of you are not willing, be willing to set them free to plot their own course as you plot yours.
In time, all will be lighter, brighter, and exceedingly more merry.
While the discussion(s) may present challenges, dedication to the truth will set you free. Speak with grace, love, and respect and allow others the time they need to adequately adjust to your newly empowered truth.
Each today is happening now. Each yesterday has already passed, and each tomorrow has yet to be fulfilled.
Fulfill your tomorrows, today, by lovingly saying thank you and goodbye to your yesterdays.
DearJames®
DearJames,
Thank you for responding. I have known this answer for a long time, I just wanted to be sure. I have heard the same answer, but in a different format. Thank you very much.