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How Do I Handle These Two

Adultery / Betrayal / Cheating , Decision / Indecision , Relationships

DearJames,

My husband of two months was unfaithful to me and now he and the woman he cheated on me with are harassing me.

I have health issues and I can’t afford to get upset. How do I handle these two? Please help me. I’m desperate for help before I do something stupid.

Anonymous

 

Dear How Do I Handle These Two

First and foremost, based on the circumstances you've described, you should immediately file for an annulment of the marriage.

Then, rise above these lesser states of consciousness and safeguard yourself by permanently removing these two people from your life.

Their actions, character, and behavior need not be yours, nor need you willingly subject yourself to it.

Every soul is sovereign and divine, worthy of love, joy, happiness, peace, security, and certainly respect.

Once you decide to remove yourself from this situation and cease to engage with him/her, the situation loses its energy, and thus their perceived power over you.

People only treat you the way you allow them to, and this is certainly a situation that calls for decisive action on your part.

Act with absolute resolve, clarity, and calm centeredness as you swiftly move to extricate yourself from this situation.

Document any previous and ongoing harassment by keeping detailed notes/records of each occurrence, who was present, how it occurred, what was said or threatened, etc.

Should the harassment continue or escalate, do not hesitate to immediately go to local law enforcement and/or your local District Attorney’s office and file a formal complaint regarding their ongoing behavior and actions towards you.

“Harassment in the United States is governed by state law, which vary by state, but is generally described as a course of conduct which annoys, threatens, intimidates, alarms, or puts a person in fear of their safety. Harassment is unwanted, unwelcomed, and uninvited behavior that demeans, threatens, or offends the victim and results in a hostile environment for the victim. Harassing behavior may include, but is not limited to, epithets, derogatory comments, slurs and lewd propositions, assault, impeding or blocking movement, offensive touching or any physical interference with normal work or movement, and visual insults, such as derogatory posters or cartoons.” definitions.uslegal.com/h/harassment

You may also be entitled to file a civil harassment case against the perpetrator(s). In either case, criminal or civil, you will need to investigate what the law allows based on the state in which you reside, or the harassment occurs.

Ultimately, you’ll want to do your best to de-escalate the situation, minimize any contact you have with these two individuals, while moving forward with your life in the most expeditious manner possible.

However, again, you are a sovereign being entitled to peace, safety, and security, and any efforts by others to infringe upon those liberties must be dealt with swiftly.

The only person you are able to control is yourself.

And while that may not be overly comforting or stop others from committing actions beyond your control, it does reinforce and remind you of your own innate empowerment, and your ability to make decisive choices that serve your greater well-being.

Follow President Theodore Roosevelt’s ideology of, “speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.”

DearJames

 

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