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It's Never Been My Lifestyle

Addiction , Drugs – Alcohol (Use / Abuse) , Life Direction / Purpose

DearJames,

My fiancé recently got out on parole; however, he is not the same. He went back to his old way of life of doing drugs, except for the meth.

Do you see him ever settling down and going straight? It has never been my lifestyle at all.

Anonymous

 

Dear It's Never Been My Lifestyle

So much of what you seek with him seems to be elusive.

Loving someone in spite of their painful life choices and challenges is both admirable and commendable. However, you must also be wise and conscientious, lest you fall prey to an illusory desired outcome that may never come.

You cannot cure or save him. That deep desire, work, and commitment must originate from within him if he is to ever experience and achieve any lasting chance of sobriety and recovery.

Others can assist; however, the real responsibility lies within him to genuinely desire to change, seek out professional assistance, and maintain adherence to a strict new way of living/being.

The wise idiom “Trust but Verify” is also most appropriate in circumstances such as this.

Perhaps for your sake and sanity, it's time for you to take a good step back so you may see with greater clarity the path you have chosen for yourself to this point, and where you wish that path to take you next.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you placing your life, safety, and overall wellbeing first, and before that of another.

You'll never know what's on the other side of this most important choice / decision until you choose to make it and embark accordingly.

Sometimes we're just better off moving forward alone, then hoping and praying someone else will change and willingly become the person we wish them to be.

The only person you’ll ever have true control over in life is you, so choose wisely for yourself and make no apologies for doing so.

Loving another means loving yourself first, and enough to make the tough choices when your own safety and stability are compromised by another person’s choices.

You need not endure this particular life experience /lesson any longer than you believe necessary. And that is equally applicable to him.

As the custodian of your life and its experience(s), choose to live in a manner that is commensurate with the love, joy, and happiness you desire.

Life is a precious gift; treat it accordingly.

DearJames

 

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