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Waiting To Marry

Marriage , Life , Relationships

DearJames,

I have been single for forty-nine years, waiting to marry only once in my life. What are my chances now? And where is he?

Anonymous

 

Dear Waiting To Marry

Your statement begs the question, what have you been waiting for???

And of course we already know the answer to that question, perfection…and the belief that by waiting, delaying, and/or avoiding, you may somehow escape the pitfalls and perceived stigma of a failed relationship.

With that said, relationships are rarely if ever “perfect” as they are, by their very nature, a means by which two people explore and experience more of themselves, each other, and life, through a collective or joint lens.

Waiting all this time has merely served to isolate yourself emotionally while ultimately keeping you from experiencing amazing opportunities of love and all that comes with being in relationship with another.

And as there are never any guarantees when it comes to love, relationships, marriage, and their outcome, a certain amount of risk as it relates to affairs of the heart are both factored in and expected.

Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote “tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” is quite poignant and applicable here.

Love is the foundation upon which all of life is based, and our trust and willingness to engage it fully, regardless the outcome, is paramount to a happier life experience and expectancy.

To love is to first and foremost demonstrate love for and of your self. It is where you learn to love and trust yourself so as to love and trust others.

Ultimately there’s nothing wrong with waiting to find the right person for you for it is far easier to get into a relationship than it is to get out of one, and thus discernment is to be both highly praised and prized.

Just be certain that your discernment is based on an open heart and mind rather than fear and an illusory pursuit of perfection.

Your chances of finding love, no matter your age, depends on your willingness to face your fears, open your heart, and take the leap of faith required to bring about the person, relationship, and marriage you desire.

Where is he you ask? Literally right in front of you, you’ve just been too (fill in the blank) to see / recognize him.

DearJames

 

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