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Is It REAL This Time

Significant Other (Boyfriend / Girlfriend / Partner) , Commitment , Marriage

DearJames,

I met a nice guy a few months ago and have been dating him since. But after my previous marriage failing and my last relationship proving to be a false true love, is this going to be the real deal or just a nice long dating commitment?

Michelle

 

Dear Is it REAL this time

Yes, Yes, and More Yesses. Yes it is real this time. Yes you heart each other. And Yes it will be a nice long dating commitment.

And why wouldn’t you want it to be that? In order to nourish a relationship, you must invest in it every moment of every day.

You must choose it!

And a nice long dating commitment throughout its ongoing evolution from dating to until death do you part will be the sustenance that keeps it glowing.

Now you may get off to a rocky start in the beginning and/or have some starts and stops along the way, however, once you’ve worked out the kinks, it’ll be smooth sailing for the better part of a lifetime.

Each of you will want to address your individual fears and insecurities when it comes to love, life, and relationships.

Remember neither of you is here to “save” the other. You are here to compliment and enhance the other, leaving the heavy lifting of that which resides individually within the other for the other to address and handle.
You’ll also want to remember that this is a marathon not a sprint. You don’t have to solve every problem, accomplish every goal, and become the person you dream of being in a nanosecond.

Be patient and gentle with both yourself and each other. Take walks with one another, hold hands, live, love, and laugh TOGETHER. This will make the minor bumps in the road irrelevant as you maintain your focus on the beauty of the journey, not its destination.

You’ll really want to eliminate any and all fear surrounding and pressure to have “the perfect relationship.” In other words there’s a strong sense that you feel due to your past / history that this relationship must be perfect, that you must be perfect, that he must be perfect, and that is not a winning perspective.

Projecting onto anyone or anything, and that includes yourself, something rooted in lack, will surely bring about the exact opposite of what you’d hoped for; you’ll end up with more lack, as that was at the root of your intention or fear.

More than anything, rest assured you are absolutely, 1000 percent, worthy of both receiving and giving love. Just allow that love to be pure and unencumbered; flowing openly from the trust you found within yourself.

The rest will be adorned with the magic of moments and the memories you both created and shared while together that leaves an indelible impression upon your soul.

That which you take from this lifetime into another: and the greater beyond.

DearJames

 

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