Home The Latest Ask About Advice Consultation Inspiration Tools Resources Media Testimonials Radio Show Boutique Community Videos Charitable Foundation Charitable Giving Thank You
ASK

photo credit: likovaka/Shutterstock.com©
Should I Walk Away

Adultery / Betrayal / Cheating , Break-Up , Confusion

DearJames,

I found out this past March that my boyfriend of seven years was having an on again off again affair with another woman. At the latter end of the affair, they were basically living together; and although he would not let me go, he chose her.

We have had contact during this time and maintained a friendship while he was with her. We decided that it seemed we still had feelings and have recently been trying again. In the past week or so I feel he may have contacted her. My question is should I walk away from this mess or will it work out for the best?

Confused

 

Dear Should I Walk Away

YES, by all means, you should walk away, and keep walking away, never turning back to look for even an instant.

While this may seem harsh, direct, and unsettling to you, what you have failed to realize is you are enabling him to “have his cake and eat it too,” while severely diminishing your own self-value, self-worth, dignity, etc.

People only treat you the way you allow them to, and this man has little regard for anyone else’s needs other than his own.

You are not simply a toy that one may discard once they have tired of your newness and pleasure, or return to it whenever they fancy.

And while we are being honest and direct with ourselves: he did not, “not let you go,” you choose to not release him and his bad behavior.

You are not responsible for his lack of character, honor, decency, morals; the list goes on.

You are however culpable and responsible for the decisions you make, especially when you are fully aware of the circumstances.

You are by your inherent value and worth as a human being, let alone as a woman, worthy of more: you simply must choose it.

While relationships may be difficult and downright challenging at times, honor, faith, decency, loyalty, and character are not.

Those attributes are core principles one chooses to exemplify and live by…or not.

You have been given the golden opportunity to see this man for who he truly is, while also being afforded the opportunity to eliminate and remove any further association with this form of mental and emotional abuse.

One could argue this has already “worked out for the best”…for you.

In the end, all decisions and choices are yours to make…make them with your highest and best interests at the forefront.

Moving forward:

Choose to love yourself first and foremost.

Choose to believe in yourself, your value, your worth, and all that you earnestly have to offer, both this world and another.

Choose to live the life you truly desire and envision.

Choose to believe you are worthy of such a life /partner/spouse/equal.

Choose to empower yourself.

Choose!

DearJames

 

comments powered by Disqus
RECENT ADVICE
MORE ADVICE

 

Dear James
facebook   twitter
DearJames LLC© 2018 All Rights Reserved
 
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy